Three seasons in one week

Taupo, New Zealand

A definition of irony: "We've had no power because of the snow. I haven't even been able to run my freezers!" A farmer quoted on New Zealand's channel 3 news.

As we were leaving Rotorua we had been reliably informed that we would only get as far as Taupo, the next town. This didn't matter as we wanted to stop there but basically all roads south of Taupo had been closed because of heavy snowfall. We had no idea when we would be able to leave the town. We were hoping it wouldn't take too long to get those roads cleared.
Taupo is a town on the edge of New Zealand's largest lake making for a beautiful setting. It is also close to the countries first national park with it's volcanoes and stunning scenery, where Mordor was filmed in Lord of the Rings. So we really wanted to do one of the day walks there and take in the stunning scenery. This however was the first place where the weather stopped us from doing something. All the snow meant the track was closed and we wouldn't be able to do it. Such a shame as I am sure that a snow covered Mordor would have made an amazing sight.

Taupo was also a centre for other outdoor activities including bungy jumping. Mik decided he was going to do one. I have to say the location for the jump was beautiful. He would be jumping off of the end of a cantilevered platform 47 metres above a crystal clear river. I have to say it made me feel better that it was above water but it still didn't tempt me in the slightest. Off I went to the photo taking viewpoint and Mik headed off to get a big rope tied to his ankles! He looked quite calm but apparently he was, and I quote, "Sh*itting his pants" Still, off he leapt and I'd love to show you photos of him plummeting towards the river but unfortunately the camera didn't play ball and I missed him! Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Sorry Mik.

Another popular activity was tandem skydiving and for reasons I can't recall I had decided that this was something I wanted to do. The decision to do it in Taupo was made not only because of the splendid view one would get on the way down but also because Taupo was the cheapest place in the country to do it. So it looked like the time had come. Some may suggest that flinging yourself out of the plane of the cheapest operator wouldn't be the wisest choice, but hey why spend a lot of money on something you're not sure you are going to enjoy.

We booked ourselves in before I could change my mind and when the time came the weather was perfect. Damn! I was most nervous in the motel room before we set off. Once we got there however we checked in and had to wait a while for our turn. I had thought this would make the nerves worse however we got to watch others landing after their jump and this seemed to reassure me that you could do it and survive! I was actually surprisingly calm as we kitted up, to be honest I don't think I really realised what I was about to do.

We were teamed up with a professional. The guy that was going to be pushing me out of the plane was called Andy G and had a leather hat complete with fake mohican, how reassuring!! He was great though and seemed to be very thorough doing up the straps and buckles, which I certainly appreciated! Mik was teamed up with a guy who had actually been working at the centre in Kent where Mik had done his first jump, and at the same time - small world and all that. So there were 6 of us jumping with our respective professionals and a few extra cameramen, all of whom had to cram into a rather small plane. I knew I didn't want to be the first out but ended up getting on the plane first therefore was going to be the last out - hmmm!

Off we set climbing to 12,000 feet. When we leveled off the door opened pretty quickly and I started to get a bit nervous. People were rapidly disappearing in front of my very eyes and it was a very surreal experience. The worst was obviously seeing Mik sat in the doorway of the plane one second and just gone the next. My guy was great though and did a good job of trying to distract me with songs, as far as I can remember, about gumboots!! The next thing I knew I was sat with my legs out of the plane with the wind whipping at them. They chose this point to make you pose for a photo! But I guess it is a good distraction. I just knew I couldn't look down or I wouldn't want to do it.

So that was that. Suddenly we were falling out of the plane and tumbling through the air. I hadn't expected to find myself upside down and this scared me somewhat. Soon enough we were the right way round and all I could see was the ground coming at me at an alarming rate, so I felt much better! You get tapped on the shoulder and have to put your arms out whilst trying to make a 'banana' shape with your body, i.e. feet up and bellies stuck out. I have absolutely no idea if I was doing this or not. I was just struggling to scream as the force of the air against your face makes it pretty difficult. You only freefall for 45 seconds (falling 7,000 feet in the process) but it actually felt like quite a while. Once the chute is released you slow right down and you can relax and enoy it. I could even see where I was. It was amazing, as we were the last out I had thought we would be able to see parachutes below us but most were already down. The whole experience only lasts about 6 minutes but in that time I got to steer the parachute and look out over the lake towards the mountains on the horizon. Fantastic.

I have to say that for someone who suffers from vertigo I thought I did very well! And I will definitely be doing it again. I have to say though that it's one thing to get pushed out of a plane with someone strapped to you, but quite another to throw yourself off a platform with just a rope attached to you so well done Mik.

For a bit of relaxation we headed to a local park where we first wandered round the geothermal areas and then hit the hot water stream. Having enjoyed the hot water beach so much we thought we'd try it again. And no need for spades! We found a natural pool complete with mini waterfall, and climbed in. It was a glorious and sunny day so no stripping off for Mik this time as the passers-by might have had a bit of a shock!

Napier, New Zealand

Luckily when it came time to leave Taupo the roads had been cleared and so we set off east for Napier on the coast. We found ourselves another lovely motel straight out of the 1970's complete with yellow formica kitchen surfaces! They are of course the cheaper motels but hey they throw in a pint of milk too so you can't complain! The town itself is famous for it's art deco buildings built after an earthquake practically destroyed the town in 1931. Once we had seen them and had visited a lonely dolphin we moved on.

Wellington, New Zealand

Arriving in the NZ capital of Wellington meant driving on motorway for the second time on the island! It is the capital afterall, but with a population of just 250,000 they don't exactly have UK style traffic problems! Their motorways are therefore very few and far between and are also very short pieces! It never ceases to amaze us just how few people actually live in New Zealand for it's size. It makes for magnificent views of unspoilt countryside and quiet roads as well as cities which aren't overcrowded. Nice.

We would be catching the boat across to the south island from here but also wanted to stay a day to visit Te Papa - the Museum of New Zealand. There was a Lord of the Rings exhibition on here which was excellent. They had costumes and weapons from the film and showed just how they made the hobbits etc look so much smaller than the others. The amount of work that went into the films is just staggering. We also took in a world news photographic exhibition but that was about it. Blimey I nearly forgot to mention the fish and chips! We found a place which did proper handcut chips instead of the frozen ones Mik had been complaining about. He, needless to say, was in heaven!

Cara

All Blacks, Goldilocks and the foul stench of hell

Coromandel Peninsula, North Island, NZ

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-Mark Twain


Auckland, Part II
After our trip around the Northlands, we made our way back to Auckland for a night before heading south. After arriving back in the city we drove straight to Eden Park where we managed to bag a couple of tickets to that evening's rugby test between the All Blacks and Ireland. The seats were uncovered and down near the pitch, but it wouldn't be a problem would it? After all, this was New Zealand in the middle of winter. I'm sure we'll be fine.

We checked ourselves into the same hotel we had stayed at during our previous visit and set off to watch the rugby. At the train station the platform was packed with black and green shirts and it was obvious that a few people had been on the sauce for quite a few hours already. There was a good party atmosphere despite the crappy weather but by the time we reached Eden Park the rain was torrential. I was wearing my new coat, which had officially been named Least Funky Jacket Ever Made, as it looked like a hippo's bladder with pockets. On the plus side, it was completely waterproof so the rain didn't prove to be much of a problem. Cara was in the same boat with her hippo's bladder and we both sat in the stands, nice and dry. Although the rain didn't let up for the entire match, we still had a great time watching a top quality game. Now we all know the kiwis are supposed to be fanatical about rugby, but I'm sorry to say New Zealand, the Irish fans were making most of the noise. Mind you, that might have been because half of the NZ fans around us left the stand to get out of the rain. Hmmmmmm, fanatical you say? After the match we walked back into the city. Two minutes after we left the stadium the rain stopped.

Coromandel Peninsula
From Auckland we drove down to the Coromandel Peninsula for a few days. We initially planned to spend a night in Thames at the base of the peninsula, but after driving around the town we realised the only entertainment to be found was watching teenagers overrev their cars on the local garage forecourt, so we decided to move on. After driving around the northern tip of the peninsula along the very scenic coastal road, we finally arrived in Whitianga. After a bit of research, we managed to bag ourselves a great little cottage with two bedrooms and a well stocked kitchen, and all for less than the local backpacker hostel wanted for a double room with a shared bathroom. It certainly pays to shop around in the quiet season, as most motels are fairly empty and happy to get any business, whereas a lot of the hostels get a steady stream of crusties all year round and rarely offer decent discounts. More importantly, we had Sky TV so we could watch the World Cup matches from the comfort of our own bed.

The next day we planned to visit Cathedral Cove and Hot Water Beach, which had both been recommended by friends and our guidebook, but when we woke up, it was hammering down with rain and we decided instead to take a drive up to a couple of waterfalls in the hills. The next morning it was still raining, so we decided to go anyway.

Cathedral Cove is a series of vast arches and tunnels worn into the limestone cliffs by the sea, and connected by a narrow strip of beach. Hot Water Beach is exactly that, a beach with hot water. Although the name Hot Water Beach refers to a fairly long stretch of sand, the hot water part is restricted to a small area, accessed only at low tide, where water heated underground seeps out of the sand. Small shovels can be hired from a café near the beach, and you can dig a hole in the sand, which fills up with the hot water and you have your very own hot tub on the beach. Sounds like fun, but I wasn't convinced this would be the best time of year to try it. The tide would not be far enough out until after dark and it was not the warmest day to start with.
We drove down to Hot Water Beach on the way to Cathedral Cove, as we would need to hire a shovel for later and the café would be closed long before the tide went out. We secured our shovel for a few dollars and promised to leave it outside their backdoor before we left. They were clearly not expecting many people to show up in this weather. From there we drove on to Cathedral Cove car park, which was a half hour walk down to the cove itself. The rain was still coming down but we took the walk anyway. After all, I had The Least Funky Coat Ever Made, and that would keep me warm and dry in any weather. The Cove was fairly impressive, but quite frankly the weather was not helping anybody except the fish and by the time we made it back to the car we were cold, wet and hungry.

Late in the afternoon we drove back toward hot water beach. The weather was taking a turn for the worse and the wind was gale force, but we had already spent $4 on a shovel so there was no way we were giving up. The tide wouldn't be out far enough until after sunset, so we would just have to sit and wait. With every minute that passed, the wind blew harder, the rain fell heavier and the temperature dropped faster than a squirrel tied to a house brick.

As the last of the sunlight drained out of the sky, we prepared to go down onto the beach. I changed into my shorts and peeled off my shoes and socks. Cara was wearing her bikini under her clothes and wisely decided to keep everything on until after we had dug the pool. We both made our way down onto the beach and ran as fast as we could to where the hot water seeped out of the sand, four hundred metres away. Down on the sand the wind was howling in off the sea, and we had both almost lost all sensation in our feet by the time we reached our goal. We could see steam rising off the sand and we started to dig with our small shovel. I stood in the hole and shovelled out the hot sand as fast as I could as the wind whipped around us. The plan was to dig out a small pool for us to sit in and keep warm before we froze solid, but our first attempt was off the mark. As the pool filled with the hot water seeping out of the ground, my feet became warmer and warmer, until eventually the pool was too hot to stand in. Strike one. I moved a bit further down the beach and started digging again. This time the water was too cold. Strike two. Apart from being bloody freezing, I was starting to feel like Goldilocks working her way through the porridge. On the third attempt we struck baby bear's porridge. Well, actually we struck geothermally heated sea water, but you gather my inference. It was just right.

We both took it turns digging until we had a pool big enough to sit in. By this time the weather was atrocious and I was getting cold feet about stripping off and jumping in. Actually, what I was more concerned about was getting out of the water and turning into a snow man. Cara had no such concerns and whipped off her clothes and dived in. It was just like laying in a hot bath, she said. I just stood in the pool to keep my feet warm and left it at that, until my woolly hat blew off the top of my head and was almost gone into the night forever, before I finally caught up with it way down the beach. The steam rising off the pool was looking very inviting but I was even more concerned about making it back to the car after we got out of the water. The dilemma was finally resolved by my male ego. I am a full-blooded Lancastrian male and could I really let myself be outdone by an Essex girl? Actually, I probably could if I thought for a second that Cara would ever let me live it down.

Oh well, I thought. If I was going to do it, it should be done properly. Off came the raincoat and the fleece. I took a look around to make sure we were alone then off came the shorts. It was bloody freezing, and the cold was only slightly less pleasant than having my nether regions sandblasted by a howling wind on a dark, remote, beach in the back-end of nowhere. I jumped into the pool (it was actually more like a large puddle) and the difference was incredible. It really is like sitting in a very hot bath. Imagine sitting in your tub at home, while somebody sprays you with a cold shower and throws sand in your face and you'll have some idea of what I'm talking about. It was fantastic and I could have stayed there forever, but sooner or later we had to get out. And what an experience that was. Unpleasant, would be the kindest way to describe it. After drying off as best we could with a towel and pulling on our clothes, we ran for the car park. On the way back we passed a couple who must have been very surprised to see a large, hairy, naked man briefly lit up against the cold night sky by our camera flashes, as we recorded the event for posterity. The things you see on the beach. Back at the car the engine went on and the heater was ratcheted up to hot and crispy. We had a hilarious time on the beach but neither of us are eager to repeat that mad dash back to the car again. Not flattering weather at all, and we have the pictures to prove it.

Although by now it was getting quite late, we decided to treat ourselves and cook a large roast for dinner. For the first time in our entire trip, we had an oven, and it would be a crime not to use it. We bought everything we needed once back in Whitianga and that night Cara and I enjoyed a roast chicken with stuffing, roasted and mashed potatoes, half a gallon of gravy, and some vegetables for Cara. What luxury, our first roast dinner in fourteen months.

The next morning we set off for Rotorua and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Bloody weather.

Rotorua
In central North Island, and about four hours drive from Whitianga, Rotorua is famous for smelling like freeze-dried vomit. Oh, and there are also some thermal springs, geysers and other assorted geothermal activities, but the sickly, egg sandwich, have you farted smell is it's main claim to fame. I quite liked the town, as it is possibly the only place in the world where I can take off my socks in public and nobody will notice. And you can also buy a large pizza for two quid, which is ideal for crashing out on the bed and watching the football highlights. We stayed here for a few days, walking around the lake and visiting the thermal springs and mud pools etc. Daytime activity wasn't too strenuous as we were getting up at three or seven O'clock in the morning to watch some of the World Cup matches and we didn't want to strain ourselves. The weather wasn't too great either so we rarely strayed far from home. From Rotorua we moved south to Taupo where hopefully things would get a little more exciting.

Mik

Fish & chips and cider - home from home

Auckland & Bay of Islands, New Zealand

We arrived in Auckland on a Friday afternoon having left Rarotonga on Thursday morning. This was of course as we had crossed the international dateline. The flight itself was only about 4 hours but we had lost a day (but gained a days budget!) and had gone from being 11 hours behind the UK to 11 hours ahead. Bizarre.

Landing in Auckland was exciting but also cold! We were looking forward to exploring New Zealand but it was also their winter! This meant that after 5 whole months of summerwear we had to dig out what winter woolies we had. Having done this we quickly realised we would have need to get some proper stuff. What a great excuse to go shopping! Much time was spent perusing the empty shopping streets of Auckland, we couldn't work out where everyone was, but I guess with a population of 1.2mil Auckland isn't exactly a massive city, and they obviously don't consider Saturday a serious shopping day! Anyway, Mik eventually decided which coat he wanted to buy and we could concentrate on other activities!!

Like finding out what food was on offer! There was sushi galore, which was a real treat for me, hundreds of Chinese restaurants due to the large Asian community in Auckland AND most importantly (for Mik at least) fish and chip shops. One night we treated ourselves to a meal in a Brazilian restaurant. It had been so fantastic in Rio we couldn't resist. It was great, as much meat off the skewer as we could eat but it cost us a day's budget! I think that was a bit of a wake up call for us, we wouldn't be eating out much during our time in NZ.

The weather did come as a bit of a shock but part of me found it a nice change - go figure! Not the rain though, and the first afternoon there it was raining. We headed out with our umbrella, unfortunately it was also extremely windy and before we knew it our high quality umbrella, bought on the streets of Bolivia, was destroyed. Great! Not even an umbrella could have helped us the following day as we wandered around the city being soaked by horizontal rain, quite impressive! This was of course also before we had stocked up on decent waterproofs.

Our activities were further hindered the next day by a power cut. We lost power at 8.30am and when one is in a city you don't really expect it to last long so we set out for the shops hoping it would be back on by the time we got there. Yeah right! The power cut lasted nearly the whole day in most parts of Auckland. The whole city had gone down and as such many businesses had closed up for the day and gone home (to rescue the food in their freezers no doubt!) So we wandered the empty streets not able to book a hire car or buy anything. The most annoying part was that there wasn't much to be had by way of food either, in fact it was 4pm and the electricity had just come back on before we got some food - fish and chips by the way!

We had arrived in Auckland on the first day of the World Cup and as such made it our mission to find somewhere where they were going to show the England game the following day. Being 10 hours ahead of Germany wasn't going to make this an easy task as games were going to be at 1, 4 or 7am in the morning our time! Luckily the first England game was at 1am and we found a pub (serving pints of ale and cider - result!) which was showing it. We went earlier the same evening to watch the rugby and even though New Zealand had been playing there were actually about 3 times as many people watching the footie which made for a good atmosphere - despite England's poor performance. It was even better in that they don't allow smoking in pubs anymore, so there were many people watching the game through the windows, fag in hand!

Having sussed out the campervan and car rental deals we eventually decided to go for the car. I had really wanted to try and campervan at least for a few days but it was so wet and cold, and as we got a good offer on a 4x4 we went with that. This would also probably come in very handy when we reached the South Island as they had just had highest snowfall for 14 years - that could prove interesting! So after the winter clothes had been bought and the car hired, off we headed. The motorway out of the city only lasted until the skyline was out of view then became your average A road. Apparently they don't have much motorway at all, anywhere, but then with a mere 4 million people living in the entire country I guess they don't need them.

Our first stop was the Bay of Islands to the north east of Auckland where we were hoping for less rain! The area is beautiful and the lack of motorways made for a really enjoyable drive. We explored the bay and one of the islands by getting a boat across and luckily it was a beautiful day (well the morning at least). The weather appears to be very changable here! As we are visiting in the off season (could it be the rain putting people off?) there weren't many people out and about here either. In fact the largest number of people we saw in one place was when we got up at 6.30am to go to one of the local bars which was showing the footie and doing a breakfast special! The fry up was enough to tempt me up that early to watch football!

We also visited the Waitangi National Reserve covering the site where the treaty between New Zealand and Britain was signed back in 1832 making NZ a British colony. Then we decided to head further north to Ninety Mile beach, so called because.....well actually we don't know as the beach isn't actually quite that long. The locals obviously decided that 82 mile beach didn't have the same ring to it! We saw a very small section of the stunningly wild beach as the weather was closing in and we decided it we wouldn't drive the length of it. Instead we headed back south, crossed a river by ferry and stopped in a small harbour town for the night. We spotted a B&B sign and were really glad we checked it out as we ended up getting a whole 2 bed cottage to ourselves. It was the biggest place we had stayed in and even though it was just for one night we really enjoyed having a lounge and separate bedroom. Real luxury.

We had intended to set off early the following morning but as it was chucking it down we had a lie in ('cos we don't get many of those!)! The plan was to head into the Waipoua Kauri Forest and go for a walk to check out the famous indigenous trees. We reached the parking area at the start of the trail on vapour and after a chat to some guys who were travelling in the opposite direction we realised we would have to go back the way we came to fill up! Having done this and come back to the forest the rains came down and we abandoned the idea of a walk. We took a quick detour to see just one of the trees then headed back to Auckland. If we got there in time, and there were tickets left, we wanted to go see the All Blacks play Ireland at rugby. Fingers crossed as I don't think seeing a tree qualifies as an overly productive day!!

Cara

What the hell is going on?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Our first few dys in Auckland and this happens. It makes you want to jump back on the plane and go back to the beach.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/12062006/325/power-blackout-causes-chaos-nz-s-biggest-city.html

Sharks, crabs, badgers and one angry octopus!

Rarotonga, Cook Islands, South Pacific

From Mexico City we were heading off to the Cook Islands for a few weeks. Yet more beaches to be sat upon, but this time on a South Pacific island (variety is the spice of life, after all). Everything went fairly smoothly at the airport, although we both had all our bags opened up and thoroughly searched. The poor fellow charged with the task even had to put his hand into my laundry bag where I was keeping my primary pair of underpants (As it was May, I was wearing my secondary pair). I don't know how much he gets paid to do that job, but it is probably not enough. True to form, he then pulled out our (full) can of mozzy repellent. Here we go again, I thought. He held it up and read the label, which obviously was in Spanish.
"Is it flammable?" he asked, staring at the large flammable materials symbol on the can.
"No" I said, feeling a bit too glib.
"Oh, okay" says he, putting the can back in my bag. Whoever says honesty is the best policy never spent all night scratching ugly red lumps and swatting blindly at unseen buzzing noises.

To get to the Cook Islands, we had to transit through Los Angeles international airport. This was

the second occasion I've passed through this airport and I can safely say that on each occasion the experience was only slightly more pleasurable than driving a red-hot javelin through each eyeball with a lump hammer. That's all that will be said on the matter. The flights themselves were fine and we arrived in sunny Rarotonga, the main island of the Cook group, a bit jet lagged but happy to be moving onto the next phase of our trip after spending the previous 7 months in South and Central America. We were finally back in the English speaking world. I could stop pretending I spoke Spanish, and everybody else could stop pretending they understood me. Apparently, holding a conversation with me in Spanish has been likened to communicating with a dolphin, except with more clicks and whistles and only a few less fishy smells.

For a change we had arranged some accommodation in advance, if only for the convenience of getting collected from the airport and shuttled to our room. The main island of Rarotonga is only thirty one kilometres in circumference, with one main road around the whole coastline, and our first room was at a hostel on the south east corner. They could only give us a room for three nights and after that we would have to find somewhere else to stay. We hired a moped for a week to get around and spent the next day riding around the whole island, checking out all the beaches and looking for somewhere else to stay. Moped hire here is fairly cheap and by far the easiest way to get around the island. I was just disappointed that they didn't make me take the Cook Islands driving test, which usually involves riding around the car park with a bored policeman watching you. Providing you don't fall off the bike too many times and nobody gets killed, you pass the test and collect your license. I didn't hear of anybody ever failing the test, and we saw plenty of people falling off their bikes. After that, our time was consumed with sitting on the beach and trying to unwind from all the previous beach sitting we had done. In one unfortunate incident, Cara and I were walking down the beach, taking in the sights and generally having a relaxed time of it, when we spotted a couple sunbathing in the sand. Nothing unusual there, except the guy, who was possibly the hairiest human being I have ever seen, was wearing a thong. A thong for God's Sake. It was like watching a couple of badgers arguing over a piece of string. Rules should be made and laws should be enforced about this sort of thing. I'll carry that mental scar with me to my grave.

Our next stop was at an enormous apartment on the west coast of the island. It was a major budget buster but we had our own kitchen, lounge, bathroom and the sunset views across the road were truly incredible. Just a few minutes moped ride along the coast we also had a fantastic stretch of beach which was always completely deserted apart from the two of us. The beaches here are great, with the white sand, clear turquoise waters and the tall coconut palms required by every tropical paradise. This is where we met Steve, the hermit crab. I called him Steve because he looked just like Steve Buscemi, the actor, except without the facial tics and squeaky voice. Steve liked to have his picture taken and would often take a stroll across my towel when I had the camera out.

A few days later, Cara and I went out for our first day's diving. The entire island is surrounded by a shallow lagoon bounded by a thick, fringing reef. Outside the reef, the seabed drops off dramatically to over a thousand metres, with some enormous coral pinnacles and vertical walls. The sea temperature rarely drops below twenty eight degrees Celsius and average visibility is around thirty to forty metres, excellent conditions for scuba diving. Unfortunately, the once pristine coral is now almost completely gone thanks to recent cyclones and an infestation of crown of thorns starfish, which can consume whole reefs in just over 12 minutes, give or take a few months. The diving was still pretty good though, and we did a few great sites. Our first dive there was outside the southern reef. We took a rib through a narrow channel in the reef, dived down the dead coral wall and into a small cave. The tide was going out and the current was extremely strong. After a few minutes frantic finning we were reduced to pulling ourselves along the bottom using our hands. After some exhausting clambering over the rocks, we came out into a long narrow channel in the lagoon reef to see dozens of big reef sharks circling above us. The current was so strong now we were barely hanging on by our fingertips, and a few times some of us would lose our grip and go tumbling backwards through the channel before finding another fingerhold and pulling ourselves back. We began to wedge ourselves into whatever nooks we could find in the rocks to find some protection from the current sweeping through the channel. All around us sharks drifted by on the current before flicking their tails to send them back over our heads. In the excitement, I had lost track of where Cara was and looked around to see where she had wedged herself. I saw her sitting on the sea bottom twenty feet in front of everybody else, with big sharks circling just a few feet above her head. That's my girl, I thought. I inched my way over to her, one rock at a time. At one point I was pushed off the rocks and had to kick as hard as I could just to get back to the sea floor. We spent the rest of the dive just sitting there, wedged in the rocks and watching the sharks, rays and other fish circle around us in the currents. By the time we made it back to the boat everybody was exhausted and out of air. It was a hell of a difficult first dive but well worth it. None of the other dives quite matched the enjoyment of that first one but we enjoyed them all, although Cara missed out on a few thanks to her injuries, but more of that later. The snorkelling in the shallow lagoon was as good as the diving and oftentimes better. There was still plenty of live coral in the shallows and Cara and I would hover over small outcrops and watch a couple of big octopus changing colour. There was also every kind of reef fish in abundance and at one point I almost swam straight into the biggest moray eel I have ever seen. It's body was as thick as my chest and when it bared it's teeth and shook it's head at me I decided to make myself scarce and look for another octopus to play with. When I found one, I thought I would hang around for a while and just watch, but the octopus had other ideas squirted a bit splodge of octopus crap at me. There's friendly for you.

Now, I've not always been the friendly, good-natured, laidback fellow I know you all think I am. Sometimes in the past, I have done things I have lived to regret, such as pausing that split second too long when Cara has asked me what I think of her new shoes, and other such atrocities. Some of my past misdeeds may even be considered unforgivable, like the whole sorry episode in the eighties with the espadrilles and the Don Johnson jackets. But you will be pleased to know that my Karma finally caught up with me in the Cook Islands and I was punished for all my past sins. That's right folks, we went to the cinema to see The Da Vinci Code. And if you ask me, the punishment didn't fit the crime. With hindsight, I think I can safely say that I would happily remove my own cerebellum with an ice-cream scoop and kick it around a football field for ninety minutes rather than go through that ordeal again. It was, at least, all for a good cause as the screening was a special fundraising event. The good cause in question was, however, to raise cash for some local kid to fly to New Zealand to train as a competitive weight lifter. So I sat through all that bollocks so some knucklehead could pick up heavy lumps of metal? Glad we could help. On the ride back to our apartment, Cara got something in her eye, so we pulled over to the side of the road and I took a look. I gave it a quick glance and couldn't see anything. When we made it back to the room, Cara took a look in the bathroom mirror and found a very upset grasshopper cowering under her eyelid. This should tell you everything you will ever need to know about my powers of observation.

Cara completed her bout of physical misfortune the next afternoon when we were at the supermarket. Getting onto the moped, she caught the outside of her leg on the exhaust pipe of the bike next to ours. It was only for the briefest second, but it burnt the skin quite badly and she made her discomfort quite vocal, using a combination of expletives that even I had never considered using together. I took a look at the burn and told her it was nothing, dismissing the issue with the complete lack of interest that all men have for other people's ailments. It was quite a nasty burn though, and kept Cara out of the water for most of the second week on the island. She wasn't too happy about having a bandaged leg on the beach either, and I won't even mention what the scar has done to the all-over tan. On the bright side, we will soon be shivering in New Zealand, so we can put on long trousers again and cover up those unsightly tan lines.

Other highlights included eating the biggest T-bone steak the world has ever seen in a bar overlooking the sea. It was so big it wouldn't fit on the plate and they had to cut it in half and stack one piece on top of the other. In the same bar we met a couple of old blokes who were in the middle of a two year round-the-world sailing trip in their own yacht, and they both came from Leyland, which is my home town in Lancashire. I'd even met one of the guys before about fifteen years ago. Small world indeed. We had an excellent time on Rarotonga and although we were both eager to move onto New Zealand, it was difficult leaving the island. The culture on the islands is heavily influenced by New Zealand and you can get all the creature comforts imported from there , except in a beautiful South Pacific environment (although for some reason they only sold Australian beer, which I have found to be the closest approximation yet to a cold can of piss!). Imagine eating fish 'n' chips on a Bounty advert beach and you'll get some idea of what I'm talking about.

Mik

Last stop in the Americas

Mexico City, Mexico

It had been almost 3 months since we had been in a city and as such we were both looking forward to it. It did however mark the end of our 2 month long stretch of beach time, but only for a few days!
In the past I had heard only that Mexico City was a massive, sprawling and dirty city. I guess for a city with a population of somewhere around 25 million that would be expected. However we were really pleasantly surprised by the mexican capital, it was remarkably clean and had a warm atmosphere. We found a great little hotel right near the main square, the Zocalo, which at 8 quid a night was the cheapest place we'd stayed in a while (but it even had marble tiles in the bathroom!!) The great location enabled us to wander the streets and see the sights. We considered doing the proper tourist bit and getting on the open bus tour but in the end decided that it was best to explore on foot.

And explore we did, for most of the 4 days we were there. We pounded the streets then took in the view from the observation tower. The city sprawled out in every direction and it was impossible to see where it started or finished. Massive. We took a couple of trips on the underground there at 10 pence a ride! Went to the cinema, considered a real treat, and generally soaked up the atmosphere. As we wandered round we realised that lots of the impressive old colonial buildings were on the wonk. This, we discovered was due to the fact that most of Mexico City is built on an old lake bed. This had caused major subsidence, the opera house has sunk 4 metres but still remains intact!

Funnily enough the bit we probably enjoy most about cities in the enormous range of food they offer. As mexican food had proved so good up til now we hoped we wouldn't be disappointed. We weren't. The best food by far were the bits we ate from the street vendors. They served up fantastic deep fried quasadillas filled with whatever you liked, and tacos galore. We ate meat tacos for just 15 pence each, and for 35 pence you could get a larger taco stuffed with steak, onions and chips! Needless to say we went back many lunchtimes, much to the amusement of the locals. Even more so when they watched me pour loads of what I thought was guacamole onto my taco and then realise with burning lips that it was something quite different. Mik got that one, and I ordered a fresh one, well at 15 pence a pop I could!

I gave the locals something else to chuckle about one morning as we walked round the Zocalo. Whilst trying to avoid the people washing down the pavements I managed to walk smack into a hanging basket. And no it wasn't just a plastic thing filled with a few plants it was a big metal thing which made for a great thunk when my head came into contact with it. The thunk was almost as loud as the expletives that followed it, so soon everyone was staring at me. I can see how they would have found it amusing, I mean all of them would have been able to pass right under the blessed thing no problem. I guess that's the price we pay for being that much taller than the locals!

Finally it was time for us to leave the spanish speaking world. We had spent a fantastic 7 months in South and Central America but now it was time to stop pretending we could speak any Spanish, and move on to English speaking parts of the world. Our flight to the Cook Islands took us via Los Angeles. Anyone who has been here will know it does not give the best impression of the States, it's a dump. In fact the only plus point was that here I was able to put the toilet paperdown the toilet instead of in a bin, something I hadn't done in 7 months!!

Cara

El Cuyo

El Cuyo, Northern Yucatan, Mexico

Our plan after leaving Isla Mujeres was to rent a car and drive down to the apartment we had rented in El Cuyo the day before Mum&Mum arrived. That way we could stock up the fridge and get the place ready for them. The company we were renting the car from picked us up from the ferry port and took us to our car, a banged up old Nissan Tsuru which seemed to be the most numerous car on the road in this part of the world. It looked like 3 large suitcases glued together, but it was an automatic and had air-conditioning so we weren't complaining. We drove down to the super supermarket and spent a happy hour wandering the aisles, filling up the trolley with all the tasty treats we had been missing for the previous few months. We had been advised to get as much stuff as we could in Cancun as there was little that could be bought in El Cuyo itself and the nearest supermarket was an hour's drive away. Then we set off on the two hour drive to El Cuyo, which actually took nearly three and a half hours. Each village we passed through was smaller than the last (but still contained the requisite 47 speedbumps) and eventually they were just collections of wooden huts by the roadside. We arrived in El Cuyo, collected the keys and unloaded the car into the apartment. It was a huge place, and as close to the sea as it's possible to get without getting your feet wet. The only downside was that for most of the journey there we were driving through small scale brush fires along the length of the road. By the time we reached El Cuyo, the air was thick with the smoke from the fires and it hung over the whole coast like a thick fog. After coming from Isla Mujeres where it was bright and sunny every day, it would be a shame if all out time here was spent in a grey haze and smelling of bonfires. When we woke up the next morning, however, the wind had changed direction and the sky was as blue as you could want it.

We headed back to Cancun to collect Mum&Mum, got lost on the motorway in Cancun as Mexicans are so good at navigating they don't need signs, and arrived at the airport just a few minutes before they walked out with their suitcases. Both Cara and I were really looking forward to seeing our mums again, and it was great to see family again after all this time away. They both looked surprisingly chipper after such a long flight, which was good as they then had to sit in the car for another three and a half hours to get to the apartment. If Cara's mum, Linda, or my mum had hoped to get any sleep on the drive there they were out of luck, as Mexican roads have speedbumps every twenty metres. These, couples with the more than numerous potholes guaranteed they were bouncing around in the back seat for the entire journey. By the time we got there they were both starting to flag a bit, so we got them settled into their rooms and Cara made a start on dinner, more of her excellent fajitas. This was made a tad more difficult as all the kitchen appliances had been plugged into one extension socket and it just couldn't cope with the pressure. When you switched on the hob, it would take half an hour to warm up and the lights in the room would noticeably dim. Then if you attempted to use the microwave, it would short out the fridge. When you switched the fridge back on, the hob stopped working and so on. It took Cara the best part of two hours to finish cooking something that should have taken thirty minutes. Great! We had dinner out on the enormous balcony overlooking the sea, and much beer and wine was drunk. Cara and I even had another surprise treat to enjoy with our dinner. One of Cara's friends from back home, Helen, had given Linda a can of Strongbow cider for Cara and a can of Boddingtons bitter for me. After drinking crappy lager for the last God knew how long, we savoured those for as long as we could, which turned out to be about seventeen seconds in my case, and about seventeen hours in Cara's. By the end of the evening, everybody was exhausted and Mum&Mum finally made it to bed. They both slept like babies until late the next morning, but over the next couple of days both mums handled the jetlag surprisingly well. A lot better than I would have done, that's for sure. In fact most mornings, the three ladies had usually been for a swim, taken a walk along the beach and had breakfast before I even opened my eyes for the first time (although I'm obviously not the best benchmark for early risers).

Now, one of the supreme advantages of having family visiting mid-journey was to resupply our meagre rations with all the much-yearned for comforts of home. In the preceding months Cara and I had made various online purchases for goodies. New books, a new compact digital camera with assorted memory cards, new filters for the SLR, various cosmetic potions and creams for Cara and some much needed new books for the both of us. All this was fairly straightforward and Mum&Mum were happy to fill their cases with our chosen toys and toiletries. But this was trivial stuff compared to our real needs. Cara wanted, no, needed chocolate. Cadburys chocolate to be precise. And I hadn't had a bacon butty in 8 months. This was to prove a greater challenge. My mum was getting nervous about being an international bacon smuggler even before she bought the stuff, and the thought of getting the shakedown at Mexican customs didn't exactly fill her heart with joy. But true to her word, she packed the rashers into her suitcase (which was only slightly smaller than a detached farmhouse in Wiltshire) and braved the authorities. Linda did the same with Cara's forty seven kilos of assorted Cadburys chocolate products. As it turned out they were fine, despite falling foul of their own honesty and ticking the box on the immigration form relating to carrying food products. Like true professionals, they bluffed their way through customs with goodies intact, although Linda had to sacrifice a lemon for the greater good (fruit smuggling seems to be a family trait). So, the next morning Cara and I enjoyed real bacon sarnies for the first time in ages and for the next two weeks, Cara was never more than four feet away from a piece of chocolate. As a thankyou, Cara and I repaid the favour by giving Mum&Mum fourteen kilos of books and unwanted clothes to take home for us.

The village of El Cuyo was tiny, but it had a great atmosphere about it and all the locals were very friendly. They didn't even make any comments about the dandy hats Mum&Mum insisted on wearing everywhere they went. I'm reliably informed they are all the rage back home but I thought they looked like they should be worn by a couple of boiler stokers off an old steam engine. Shows what I know about fashion. There were only two restaurants in El Cuyo and they both closed at 6pm, so we wouldn't be having any crazy late nights on the town. We ate out a few times for lunch and the local seafood was fantastic, and most evenings were spent in the apartment, with Cara and me attempting to cook something up with our limited kitchen appliances.

After about five days in the apartment, we eventually began to run low on supplies. As the only things you could buy in El Cuyo were beer and onions (which incidentally, is what I began to smell like after five days in the apartment) we decided to take a day trip to the nearest supermarket in Tizimin, one and a half hours drive away. We took a walk around the town and had lunch in a very pleasant restaurant overlooking the town square. Mum&Mum were both wearing their Ivor the Engine hats, and Cara and I were a good foot taller than anyone else in town. That, coupled with the fact that we were the only gringos for miles around, guaranteed we received plenty of attention as we wandered the streets of Tizimin. We filled up a trolley with everything we needed at the well stocked supermarket and headed back to El Cuyo.

Now, getting there had been relatively easy. Being the only town of any size for some good distance, Tizimin had been signposted almost as soon as we left the apartment (for some reason, they have signs in the arse-end of nowhere. Just not in major cities or on highways). Getting back was to prove a little more difficult, and of course, it was my turn to drive. After taking several random turns, and taking my bearings from the sun and a pack of circling vultures, the general consensus was that we were lost. Obviously, being a man and Compass Mik, I insisted that I knew where we were going. Cara and Mum&Mum were having none of it. They each offered their own version of our intended course and between us we managed to cover all four points of the compass. Let me tell you, being lost in some shabby backwater of the Yucatan Peninsula with three female backseat drivers is unlikely to ever make the top ten of any man's "Things I'd really like to be doing on a Sunday afternoon" list, but we eventually we found our road and headed back to El Cuyo. Okay, so they were right and my directions would have taken us to El Salvador, but that's really not the point, is it?

We spent a great week and a half in El Cuyo. We had an enormous stretch of beach to ourselves, a great apartment, complete solitude and a lot of fun. My mum even had a go at teaching Linda and Cara how to linedance, though I was thankfully spared. I was, however, abjectly humiliated at a host of card and board games, but I displayed inhuman resilience to conversational topics involving X-Factor contestants and Eastenders plots, so it wasn't all bad.
My Mum and I even managed to watch the Champions League final in town one afternoon. The local internet place (actually somebody's living room with a couple of computers in the corner) had satellite TV and the owner kindly let us watch the game. On the walk back to the apartment along the beach, we found an enormous turtle on the sand, but unfortunately it was dead and had been washed ashore by the tide.

We decided to spend the last couple of days of Mum&Mum's trip on Isla Mujeres, to let them experience the crystal clear blue water and actually have a choice of where to have dinner. That, and the fact that Mum&Mum forgot to mention that their flight home was a day later than they had previously told us and we didn't have any accommodation sorted for the last night. Our first night there we managed to talk Mum&Mum into enjoying a couple of margaritas with dinner and they were both grinning for the rest of the night. When it was finally time to leave, we all took the ferry back to the mainland and said our goodbyes. Cara and I had to go straight to the bus station to catch a twenty four hour bus ride to Mexico City, so Mum&Mum took a taxi to the airport without us. We were sorry to see them leave but we had all had a fantastic time and it was great to see the mums again. This had been the first time I'd had been on holiday with my mum for twenty years and I really enjoyed spending time with her again after all these months away. I know Cara felt the same way and we were both a little bit homesick for a while afterwards. We were now on our last few days in the Americas before heading to New Zealand via the Cook Islands, and out of the sunny, beach life we had enjoyed for the last few months. I was even starting to turn a darker shade of white!

Mik

©Mum&Mum is a registered trademark of ThrelfallGant Productions. Any breach of copyright is punishable by being locked in a confined space with a pair of Mik's walking socks.

Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Cancun is a city which has developed purely due to tourism. There is a 'hotel zone' which stretches for 22km along white sandy coastline with massive resort hotels the likes of which would no doubt turn us away at the door! So we bypassed Cancun, and instead headed to Isla Mujeres (Island of Women) a 25 min boat ride off the coast. Even this looked quite developed compared to what we had been used to and so we were a little unsure as we stepped off the ferry. However our Irish friends had been here just before they headed home and had recommended apartments where we got a good deal including kitchen again so all was cool.

We spent 8 days on the island doing very little other than lounging on the lovely beach, drinking ice cold Coronas (literally, as our freezer was very effective although the beer didn't freeze until taken out. Mik figured out the reason for this but to be honest I've forgotten his whole physics theory. I was listening at the time, honest Mik!). I was just happy to drink cold beer, albeit with the gringo addition of a slice of lime and cooking ourselves some lovely meals including fresh mushrooms, something we hadn't had for 6 months! Not a terribly interesting fact granted, but we will want to remember it in years to come I am sure!?

We did eat out a couple of nights though, and really enjoyed it. Rather than being a necessity it became a treat again. Especially as mexican food has proved to be very good. Loads of tacos, quesadillas and burritos (esentially the same thing just wrapped a different way!) with lashings of guacamole! And as they serve the chile sauces on the side, everyone is happy!

One day we did head back across the water to the shopping centres of Cancun. The primary reason was to check out the big supermarkets as next week our Mum's were due to arrive for their visit and we needed to know we could stock the apartment for them. It was the biggest supermarket we had seen in many, many months and sadly we spent a good 1/2 hour wandering around taking it all in! The secondary reason for hitting this particular shopping centre was because it housed a Zara (for those not in the know this is probably my favourite shop back home, not least for the fact that their trousers are long enough for me!) I was in heaven. I was very restrained but did just have to spend 5 mins walking round the shop in a pair of their strappy sandals! Oh, I miss heels. Trainers and flipflops have been the norm for far too long! Sorry, girlie moment.

Another day we visited the turtle sanctury on the island. Our guide book had promised huge turtles and lots of different species. Sadly the hurricane last year must have claimed a few turtle lives as there weren't many to be seen. Evidence of the hurricane could be seen all along the east coast of the island where many hotels had been gutted and walkways destroyed. The same was true in Cancun itself and we saw many signs promoting the reopening of some of the big hotels some 8 months after the hurricane hit.

Sitting on the white sandy beach watching the sun set, cold beer in hand, it was difficult to imagine the havoc nature had wreaked. We really enjoyed our time here on a very laid back island and before we knew it it was time to head off to get ready for the arrival of our Mum's!

Cara

Warm seas and cold beers

Tulum, Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico

Our first stop in Mexico after leaving Belize was the town of Tulum on the Caribbean coast of the Yucatan Peninsula. Most famous for it's Mayan ruins sitting atop a cliff overlooking the ocean, but most folk stay here to spend their days sitting on the miles of stupendously fantastic golden sandy beaches. We planned on renting a beachside cabana for a few days while we were there, but after walking the beach and checking out a few of the available options, we discovered our money would buy little more than a dilapidated allotment shed with half the roof missing. We further ascertained that the same cash would buy a large cabana in town, complete with bathroom, kitchen, mezzanine bedroom and not a swarm of mosquitoes in sight. Sold to the gringo with the ginger face whiskers. We would take a taxi down to the beach during the day and eat our way through the restaurants in town in the evening, not to mention guzzling our way through plenty of excellent, ice-cold bottles of Corona. Not a bad old life. Cara even got into the spirit by making us some of the best tacos I have ever had in my life. We'll definately be enjoying those again when we get home.

The beaches here really are fantastic. Mile after mile of white, powdery sand and turquoise water with the sun beating down all day. What wasn't so impressive though was our visit to the ruins. They are decent enough, but a bit of an anticlimax after the other sites we've visited in the previous months (I'm trying desperately not to sound like a spoiled little tosser, but I can see I'm losing). On top of that, to protect the site from the coachloads arriving hourly from every point north to Cancun, most of the structures are roped off and you can't ramble all over them as you can at most sites in the Americas. The location is pretty impressive though, overlooking the ocean with the waves crashing onto the cliffs on which the site stands.

We spent a few days in Tulum then jumped onto a bus north up the Yucatan. So there you go, short and sweet.

Mik

It's all in the name

Caye Caulker, Belize

Belize is a country which has been high on my wish list of places to visit for some time. I think just the name evokes images of palm trees, blue waters and sandy beaches, or maybe I got that from any photo you ever see of this Caribbean island.

We decided to blow the expense and fly from Roatan direct to Belize, at least we thought it would be direct, and easier than 2 days of travel by bus and boat. Our Irish friends had done it and didn't recommend it. So off we set at some ungodly hour (of course) and boarded the first tiny plane to the Honduran mainland. It was the smallest plane I had ever been in to travel any sort of distance. All three planes that day were the same size, seated about 18 people and the luggage came in the cabin with us! Yes I did say 3 planes! We had 2 stopovers on Honduran mainland before reaching our final destination of Belize City. Although none of the flights were more than 1 hour long the journey managed to take 6 hours! We then headed to the ferry terminal and jumped on the next boat headed for Caye Caulker an island 45 mins from mainland Belize. Here we got our first glimpse of the turquoise waters. Beautiful.

It was HOT! So the hunt for accommodation didn't last long as we were close to collapse. Luckily we stumbled across some cabins on stilts right next to the waters edge which we could afford. It was very basic but we had our very own hammock so we were sold.

The idea of Mik jetting from one Caribbean island to the next on his birthday hadn't seemed like a bad idea, with hindsight we could have planned it better as that evening we were both too exhausted to party the night away. So the following night we headed out for dinner at one of the nicer restaurants, sank lots and lots of cold beers and a couple of shots of tequila. One comment to the waitress and a slice of something chocolatey turned up in front of Mik, bless them.

This hammock became our haven for the week. I used in the mornings when it was in the sun and Mik was still asleep, then after lunch Mik would take his turn as by now it was in the shade (heaven forbid he get the sun on him!!) and I would wander down to the jetty and lie myself out in the sun again. And so the days passed....! The island had a real laid back Caribbean vibe to it. It is however becoming less of a backpacker place and there are more and more 'posh' hotels and apartments around. Not as many however as Ambergris Caye the more built up island just next door. We visited this island as part of our snorkel trip and it is far more developed with many large resort hotels.

The snorkel trip ended up being the only thing we actually did whilst on Caye Caulker. Lazy gits! We had intended to dive the Blue Hole which is purported to be one of the best dive sites in the world. However when we found out that it was going to cost $400 for us both to dive it we knocked that idea on the head. It is really difficult to make these decisions sometimes as it seems like such a lot of money in the context of our daily budget but then you can't not do the things you want to. But, having realised that we would actually only get a 30 min dive in the Blue Hole itself, and with hindsight, I think we made the right choice. We have of course got to bear in mind what that money would get us elsewhere and it will pay for a lot more diving at a later date.

So anyway, back to the snorkelling trip. We went out with a local called Carlos. There were just 6 of us and we stopped at 3 different sites throughout the day. The snorkelling was superb. We saw loads of rays, moray eels, massive tarpin fish, lobsters, big schools of colourful fish (yes that's exactly how Carlos described them!) and sharks!

At the second site a load of nurse sharks turned up right next to our boat obviously looking for food - as in fish heads from our guide, not US! They got themselves into a bit of a frenzy over a couple of fish heads as we watched from the boat, well all of us that is except Mik! He had his fins and mask on before you could say "they won't hurt you" and was in the water with them! Slightly worrying. This worry however was lessened somewhat when later on two nurse sharks found us and swam with us. Carlos was touching them and turning them over and all sorts.

Having realised it was safe Mik and I really wanted to touch one (not something I ever imagined myself saying!). They feel weird, kind of like sand paper, but then when they move it goes all soft, and their bellies are much softer than their heads. Surreal experience really. We also saw three massive eagle rays swimming along. They are such graceful things to watch. Luckily for us Carlos had a camera which could take videos as well so we have some great footage. All in all a brilliant day.

As both eating and drinking out was quite expensive we ended up going for the cheaper option of take aways a number of times. One night we decided that we would try the local rum out too. So armed with take away chicken and chips, a bottle of local rum, a bag of ice and some coke off we set for a night in in our delightful cabin. A good night was had by all however the next day passed in a haze for me. I barely made it out of the cabin, I don't think I'll be polishing off another half bottle of rum any time soon. Then again I think I always say that!

Once fully recovered we decided to head off for Mexico.

Cara