Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my !

On our last day in Luang Prabang we hired a taxi van driver to take us to the Kuang Si waterfalls, which were about 30kms from town. Now I know that 30 kilometres doesn't sound far, but when you're spending the time bouncing around the back of a small van on unsealed roads with a roof 6 inches lower than your natural head height, it just seems so much more adventurous. The drive there through the countryside was fantastic. Small kids jumping off bridges into rivers, men steering water buffalo attached to ploughs through flooded rice paddies, huge mountains covered in dense jungle, swarms of enormous dragonflies hovering above ponds. It was everything you would imagine and more. When we arrived there our driver, an enormously friendly Benny Hill lookalike, told us he would be waiting in the shade under the trees and we should take as long as we like. We bought our tickets (everything costs) and headed up the hill. Halfway up, we came to a large enclosure with a bunch of funky looking bears in it. They were all reasonably small and looked like they had big afro hairdos. Asiatic brown bears, apparently. Now we've seen many caged animals in our travels and pretty much all of them look very poorly looked after, and are usually kept in small, cramped cages. Not so the bears with the big hair. They were rescued as cubs from poachers who had killed their mother, so they could steal the cubs to sell on the black market. They all looked pretty healthy and their enclosure was a good size. They had all sorts of climbing frames and they even had a river running through the enclosure, which would make it expensive real estate where I come from. After watching the bears for a while we moved a little further up the hill, where we discovered there was a real life tiger. He lived in an enclosure roughly the size of Pembrokeshire, so off we wandered around the perimeter to see if we could find him. At first we were seeing tigers everywhere in the undergrowth, before realising that they were actually just bunches of twigs. They do blend in very well, you know. Finally, after making it around to the far side of the enclosure, we found the tiger asleep in his little concrete house. They could have told us, we spent ages looking for that git. This little chap was a 5 year old, also orphaned by poachers and brought to the park when he was about 8 months old. I say little chap, but he was probably about six and a half feet long from tip to tail and would have weighed in at a few stone more than me. Fat sod. Anyway, he wasn't impressed with us and didn't even bother to get up. He just farted and cast us a lazy stare. A bit like Cara on a Sunday morning. As we left the tiger I had a nagging thought at the back of my head that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

The waterfalls themselves are great. The bottom of the falls has been turned into a bit of a picnic area with benches and the like, but up each side of the falls are pathways that the great majority of visitors don't even bother with. We set off up one side and after much scrabbling in the mud and crawling under fallen trees, we came to a walkway out to the edge of the falls about halfway up. There were several cascades running over the path away from the main falls, so Cara and I whipped off our clobber (we had swimmers on) and clambered up the rocks. We were the only people there and we had a cracking time mucking about in the falls. The water was quite cold and it was good to cool down. After that we set off up to the top of the falls, but didn't really achieve much more other than ruining my sandals getting eaten alive by mozzies.

Once we had made our way back down to the bottom, I wanted to trek up the other side as well but Cara wasn't up for it, so she stayed there while I set off up the opposite side. Halfway up there was a wooden walkway than ran right up the side of the falls, and actually in them for some way. It was here I saw an enormous, dead, hairy spider lying on the side of the steps. Now you might think I'm jumping to conclusions, but I've always assumed that where there are huge dead spiders, there are more likely than not, huge live spiders. It was from this point on that I paid a bit more attention to where I was putting my feet. Once I had almost reached the top I came upon a clearing in the jungle canopy and stopped to admire the view. I could see for miles across jungle and rivers and mountains. I don't know if it's the altitude, but the sky here is such a fantastic shade of blue, really deep. I stood there, watched it for a while and thought to myself 'you pillock, you should have brought the camera !'. At the top of the falls, some king soul had put a timber handrail up across the top, right at the edge. Obviously, I had to trek out there and check it out. I edged my way across the top of the falls, checking my footing before each step. As I made it to the middle of the falls the flow of the water got a bit too strong and I was unsure of my footing. It was at this exact moment that I realised I was stood at the edge of a 300 foot waterfall, with nothing between me and a free flying lesson except for a bit of soggy timber. As I turned to head back to the side, something large and shiny moved by my foot and I almost fell into the water with shock. It was a bloody crab ! A great big bloody crab scurrying across a half submerged rock at the top of a waterfall. You don't get that in East Twickenham ! As I slipped and slid my way back to the side I thought to myself 'Thank God you didn't bring your camera'. Shortly after I'd made my way back to the side, a couple of kids came along and skipped across the top of the falls in about 14 seconds flat, without even getting their ankles wet. They're such cocky little sods at that age, aren't they ? Anyway, after I'd pushed one of them over and threw rocks at the rest of the them, they were a bit more cautious about where they stepped !

Back at the side of the falls, I just stood there for a few minutes taking in the views across the valley and the jungle that covered everything. It was now that I suddenly realised what the nagging doubt from earlier was. The tiger down the hill was found nearby. In Laos. Tigers. Nearby. Real tigers with real paws and really big teeth. Alive. In the wild. Around here.




Shit !




On the plus side, I was no longer worried about the spiders. Despite this I managed to get back down, and if I say so myself, I did a fantastic job of not getting eaten by a tiger. Actually, none of that is true. Just trying to make it sound more interesting than it was. I've got more chance of being randomly assassinated by a disgruntled postal worker than ever bumping into a wild tiger in Laos. There's probably only 3 of them left, and one of those lives in a cave and only comes out for Christmas. How the hell else do you make a trip to a bloody waterfall sound interesting ?

After that, we went home.

The End

Beautiful Laos

Luang Prabang is situated on a peninsular surrounded by the Mekong river creating a gorgeous setting for Laos's second largest city, with all it's 17,000 inhabitants! We found a guesthouse and for $7 a night we were quite pleased, although it didn't rival the room in Phnom Penh in terms of glamour!

It was evening when we arrived so we set out to take in the night market where they sell local handicrafts such as duvet covers, and table runners and all those things which I would usually get so excited about - but there were just so many, and all the same - literally. I managed to contain myself and not start shipping a load home to be unboxed in a year or so's time when I would no doubt think - what the hell did I buy that for. Besides I can't be buying nick-knacks when I need any extra space for clothes. For those of you interested (birds!) I now have 21 tops with me. I know that is a ridiculous amount and fellow travellers may scoff but at the end of the day as long as I can carry it all...!? Taking of which, we have only recently felt the need to actually use the proper straps of our backpacks instead of the over one shoulder easy option. I don't really know why they call it backpacking - it's not like you have to carry your bags very far at any one time. I could have bought a wheely bag (and been laughed at by all other travellers, mind) Still, it would mean I wouldn't now have one shoulder lower than the other. We have in fact both gained at least 5kg - in our luggage I hasten to add.

Anyway, I digress, back to Luang Prabang. Early on we discovered a place selling delicious noodle soups and so ate there most of the time, sometimes it saves disappointment and hassle if you go back to the same place, although you do feel a bit naughty/lazy for doing so. The main culinary influence throughout S.E. Asia is thai - which we obviously love, all others seem to be a combination of Thai, Vietnamese and Chinese, and which explains why you don't get many Laotian or Cambodian restaurants in the UK. Food has unsurprisingly been a big focus for us, in fact I think Mik has food as 1-6 of his top 10 best things about travelling. As long as you steer clear of the western stuff (oops I had pizza tonight!), and too much beer (not doing too well on that one either - it's the same price as a coke) you can actually lose a few pounds. Oh, and we came across a man with a small tressle table selling cake 'like your Mum makes it' so a few squares of banana cake haven't helped either.

A day of rain gave us the opportunity to catch up on our massages! Lao style is essentially the same as Thai massage from where I was lying but it did us a treat. Mik has been suffering with his back (all that backpacking) so I looked away while he grimaced with pain but he assures me it's good for him! No flea bites this time but we did come away with a mozzie bite a piece! The other thing this rainy day afforded us was time to visit the local barber. YES! The beard came off. I don't think I need say anymore except maybe, yippeee.......!

That's better! Even he looks happier.

The next 2 days were absolutely glorious so we spent the first one cycling around the area. Once you get out of the (small) cities it's even more stunning. Simple wooden houses filled with people living a very simple, and, I can only imagine stress free life - it certainly makes you think. Although having said that even some of the most basic, ratan shelters built on stilts have a TV in them so maybe they are more aware than we think? We visited a local market where Mik tried to find a pair of sunglasses having lost the arm off of his, but the selection was poor(what did we expect?) and either made him look someone off of Chips or Dynasty so he's still doing it Asian style with no eye protection. We cycled round the old town which is stunning, raced kids up the hills and visited a couple of temples.

All in all a fabulous day which, after all that exertion, was ended with a beer in hand whilst we watched the sun disappear behind the mountains and the Mekong. Oh and then some more food!

Just a note to all this beer drinking. Neither Mik nor myself are beer drinkers but we have been left little choice. Mik hasn't been able to track down any Black Panther stout recently and having tried only a couple of glasses of various local wines I have decided beer is the only option. Worst glass of vino so far - Lao wine - tastes like someone got some grape juice and mixed it with meths, and it smells like tequila - one sip was enough. Had thought I would try it after seeing others drinking it. I now realise the only reason it was consumed so quickly was because you couldn't stop or you would realise what you were doing to your stomach lining! So despite the fact that you can buy a bottle for 50p they can keep it. Ohh for a lovely bottle of Rioja......

The second day we headed for the nearby waterfalls. Over to Mik for that commentary

Carry on up the Mekong. A slower boat into Laos.

Whilst in Chiang Mai we had a dig around to see which would be the best way of getting into Laos. The options were plane, boat or bus. Plane was too expensive, bus was too boring and uncomfortable, so that left only boat. We were to get a minibus from Chiang Mai to the border, spend the night there, then cross the border in the morning before embarking on a 2 day cruise down the Mekong river, finally dropping us at Luang Prabang in Laos.

The bus journey was fine, apart from the fact that when we stopped for lunch, our driver ran over the cafe owners cat. She didn't seem to mind too much and began immediately to rewrite the menu. Our guesthouse at the border was plain but comfortable and after dinner we sat in a bar over the road, drinking beer and watching pirated movies (Mr & Mrs Smith - crap ! And Sin City - crapper !). The next morning we took a quick ferry across the Mekong to go through the endless immigration beaurocracy, then took a tuk-tuk (try saying that 5 times) to the boat jetty. After making ourselves as comfortable as possible, which actually meant sitting on the floor at the back of the boat by the engine room, we pulled out our biggest grins, which we reserve for border crossings and black panther stout. Then, at break neck speed, we sat and did nothing. The odd crew member would occassionally walk down the boat, pretend to fiddle with a knot on some mooring line just to get our hopes up, then walk back down the boat again. For a while we continued to go nowhere. It started to get very hot and cramped on the boat, and some of us paying passengers made grumblings to crew members about the wait. The crew, being a considerate bunch, caught on to what troubled us and immediately set about doing even less than before. A whole hour we sat there, fully packed, loaded, fuelled and crewed. Then the waiting really started.

Finally, as if by some rare and mysterious alignment of the planets, some unspoken communication passed amongst the crew and to the man, they leapt to their feet and hurried themselves with readying our vessel. The engine was fired up, the mooring lines released and everybody cheered. The captain took the wheel threw wild hand gestures about the boat to his attentive crew. Then, slowly, as if by magic, they all sat down, the engine was switched off, and we waited some more. Only after our captain was absolutely certain that we had fulfilled our required government quota of pointless stagnation did we finally cast off and head down the mirky Mekong. The Mekong river is wonderful. It supports entire communities all along its length providing them with water, food, transportation and toilet facilities. At what's more, it looks exactly like the chocolate river in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Only much, much bigger. We did stop a few times along the way, if only to get in some supplemental waiting, and the captain was very considerate and only ever moored up next to other boats so we could sit next to their exhaust pipe and suck down some tasty gasses. Nohing like the smell of diesel fumes to settle you stomach.

After a hard days waiting and some brief motoring, we landed up at a lovely little village called Pak Beng, where we would spend the night. After Cara was forced to sit in the middle of the only road for an age waiting while I ran the length of the village 4 times trying to find us decent accommodation, we finally settled on a lovely little bamboo box. This was preferred to the alternatives of small wooden box and small corrugated iron box, if only because the gaps in the bamboo gave the cockroaches plenty of escape routes when I took off my shoes. Better than any insecticide ! Pak Beng is very small. You can walk aound it in a stride, but everybody is very friendly and they will happily sell you lots of things that are probably bad for you.

We had to be back at the boat early the next morning as the captain wanted to get in a good 2 hours of serious waiting before setting off. Unfortunately it hammered down with rain for most of the second day, so we only had the scenery for a few hours. The scenery along this part of the river is spectacular, and the main reason for taking a slow boat rather than a fast bus or, heaven forbid, a speedboat. The title speedboat is somewhat misleading here, as they are more akin to a child's play slide with a jet engine strapped to the back. We would hear them coming from miles away, sounding like concord on take-off, speeding past us with their petrified passengers packed in like supersonic sardines. The slow boat was definately the favourable option and I'm glad we took it. We finally fetched up in Luang Prabang in the late afternoon and Cara sorted us with a decent guesthouse before I'd even managed to get the packs off the boat

Laos is a communist country, which essentially means only politicians and government officials are allowed to get rich. Most of the rest of its inhabitants a very, very poor indeed. The country is also very empty. With a population less than that of London, and a country the size of, say, the moon, there is a lot of empty, untouched, beautiful countryside inbetween. With the exception of those working in the tourist trade, most Laotians just seem bemused as to why so many foreigners now visit their country, but visit they do and it seems to be the rising star of Southeast Asia. It definately has a good feel to it and everyhing has been just grand so far.

Cara will le you know what we've been up to since arriving in Luang Prabang

Chaing Mai - cooking and chilling

We made it to Chang Mai in our lovely comfy airplane and decided to book a hotel in advance at the airport as we wanted somewhere with a pool. This sounds very flash but I was desperately in need of lying in the sun time, and besides the extra couple of dollars for the pool keeps me from spending money on clothes! So we picked the cheapest and got a taxi there. It was horrible. Just had a really uneasy feel about it and was dirty, so I decided (after a small tantrum) that I was prepared to cover the cost (Mik was happy to stay there) and we should find another hotel. We did. The staff couldn't quite understand why we might pay for a room and then not stay in it, but hey it just gives them another reason to believe that us westerners are wierd. Nearly forgot to point out that as we were leaving we passed a sign showing the regulations of the hotel - they included one which said all vistors to the rooms should leave their 'Thai' ID cards at reception and that a fee would be charged. Hummm - no wonder it felt so sleazy!

Once settled in our lovely new hotel instead of hitting the pool we watched 3 movies in a row in our room. I think we had just both reached that point of complete lethargy! I spent the next 2 days round the pool while Mik, not being a great one for sunbathing, found himself something else to do. He slept. For 13 hours straight at one point - quite unbelievable.

Evenings were spent at the night market where they had a food court with lots of local food at cheap prices bought with vouchers. The last time I was here (1997 I think - Brigitte you can correct me) there was small, cute night market. This has now at least trippled in size and sells everything from t-shirts to ninja stars, which looked like they could do some serious damage - nice!

We then signed up for 2 days of a Thai cookery course with the Chaing Mai Cookery school and set off for the house of Thai celebrity chef Sompon Nabnian who actually taught us on the second day - a funny man with a very dry sense of humour. Now, I was looking forward to this as I thought I would be able to make all the traditional dishes and just not add in the chilli! Perfect. And it worked very well - from green curry, to hot and sour soup to fish cakes - but guess what, I actually chose to add the chilli - and we ate everything we made, so by the end of it I was very proud of myself! I was also spending a bit more time on the loo as my stomach obviously wasn't used to that amount of chilli. I shall try not to let that put me off in future.

After catching up on the website a bit and trying to decide whether to fly into Laos or do it the more adventurous way by bus and slow boat, we opted for the 3 day slow boat trip - you'd have thought we would have learned already.....!

Photos

Finally, we have found somewhere with the correct software so we can upload some more piccies. Lots of the temples of Angkor I'm afraid, but there were over 600 to choose from so count yourselves lucky!

www.flickr.com/photos/ourtravels

You name it and it's for sale on the streets of Bangkok

Bangkok is great, especialy the backpacker area in and around Khao San road. Bangkok is where middle-class white people come to be hippies. Nobody gets out unaffected. I've never seen so many dreadlocks on pasty white heads. It looks like a photographic negative of a promo for the Caribbean tourist authority. On our first evening there we saw a bunch of Dutch fiftysomethings wandering the streets in trousers, T-shirts and trainers. We saw the same guys the next night wearing kaftans, headscarves, flip-flops and a stack of beads around their necks. Fantastic. Instant lifestyle change : just add Visa ! You can also get a tatoo done in the back of a van or blue hair extensions on a stool in the gutter? We saw one lady getting dreadlock extensions by the roadside whilst breastfeeding her baby. Go on, dear ! That'll look great when you get home. Oh, and a tuk tuk driver tried to persuade me to take in a show involving snakes and ping-pong balls. Why the hell would I want to watch snakes playing table tennis ?

As Cara mentioned previously, we paid a visit to the hospital whilst in Bangkok. The knock I took on the shin three weeks previously was still troubling me and I thought it would be wise to get it looked at whilst in Thailand. They have excellent healthcare facilities if you're insured. (Actually, Cara made me go. I was happy to stay in the bar and hope it would all go away by itself). The hospital itself was superb. All shiny and new looking and all the staff looked like they got plenty of sleep, so that was a pleasant change. What was surreal about the place was that it was built and run by the Seventh Day Adventists, which as far as I'm aware are a wacky religious organisation into creationism and the crazy fire and brimstone stuff at the back of the bible. This is something akin to the Jehovah's Witnesses opening a dentist in Twickenham. Now I'm not one to mock the ridiculous beliefs of others, but I found it difficult to keep the grin off my face whilst being treated by a doctor surrounded by paintings of Jesus chipping in at a bit of medicine. Bloody backseat surgeons ! I never realised Jesus looked like an over-eager geography teacher from Basingstoke. Also nice to see the son of God keeping up with contempory medical procedures. I also never knew he had a receding hairline. It's amazing the things you learn whilst waiting for an X-ray in Thailands capital city !

Anyways, the treatment was superb, the staff were professional and kind and the gammy leg was given the okay by a doctor who was the spitting image of the shakey-hand man of Banzai. Apparently just a subdeurel haemotoma. I'm afraid I have no idea what that is or how it's spelled, but apparently it doesn't require amputation. I was prescribed a bunch of stuff and they gave me a nice pink bandage that I was supposed to wear whilst out walking. I think not ! The worst part of it was that all the treatment, X-rays, examinations and prescriptions only came to twenty four quid, so I don't even get to claim on my travel insurance which has an excess of thirty five pounds !

On the trip from Cambodia to Thailand we got into conversation with a couple from the UK, Kay and Stuart, about how great the bus journey was and how having a full frontal labotomy would be a good way of taking the edge of some of Cambodia's larger potholes (we saw bomb craters in Vietnam smaller than some of these). We all checked into the same hotel and over the next few days shared a few beers. Anyway, my point is that Cara mentioned to me that they looked familiar and as it turns out they were the people we met half way up the side of that hideous mountain climb in Halong Bay (Se earlier posting for details of that debacle). The very same people whose sage advice Cara took and buggered off back down, whilst the rest of us ignorant fools soldiered on and lived to regret it. Is that a coincidence or what ? I'll go you one further. They live in Penwortham, which is the next town on from my beloved hometown of Leyland in Lancashire (All my friends in London, I'm sorry that you had to find out like this that I'm not really a Cockernee). Actually, Stuart is from Scotland but now lives in Penwortham, but that only makes it a greater coincidence because as we all know, Cara is Scottish ! Okay, she denies it but we all know the truth. Obviously, I started blathering about how crap the beer was down south and how you couldn't get decent fish'n'chips anywhere. There's nothing more patriotic than the man who moves away from home !!

Right, so between us Cara and I have filled you in on Bangkok. From there we fired off to Chiang Mai in the north east, which I suppose makes them the Thai version of Geordies ! We'll let you know what happens there as soon as.

Cheers
Mik

p.s. If anybody of a particularly religious persuassion is offended by anything in this posting, please don't write and tell me because I really don't care. Thank you.

The oh so long road to Bangkok

We ummed and ahhed about flying to flying the route from Siem Reap to Bangkok as we had been told by more than one person that the bus journey on the Cambodian side was 6 hours of hell. But when we looked into it and realised it was a difference of paying $140 for a flight and $11 on the bus our budgeting won out. How bad can it be we said. It's only 6 hours of our lives, we'll be fine.
WELL, it all started when the supposed mini bus with A/C rounded the corner and pulled up outside the tour office to pick us and 18 others up. Without exaggeration this was the oldest looking bus I have ever seen with a windscreen which was broken in many places and held together with tape.... We all rushed to get on to try and secure the best seats but despite my best efforts I was shoved toward the back where I made my way to the only 2 neighbouring seats left on the bus. I soon realised why. The wheel arch not only restricted leg room, it took it all, so the floor was the same height as the seat. Needless to say I wasn't looking forward to sitting there for 6 hours. Still I didn't think I had a choice so I tried to squeeze in and couldn't even get my legs in...by this point I was shouting at Mik to grab the front passenger seat as there was no way he would have fitted in too. He managed to secure this and said that was another seat there too. I pushed my way to the front and found the spare seat next to him - a lovely little pull down seat, for emergencies only methinks - and once I sat on it I why as it was essentially a circle of steel with some material over it. I'm not sure I chose the best option, but anyway I was stuck with it now. Now, Mik actually had a fairly decent looking seat but spent the first 2 hours holding a plastic bag up above his head to catch the rain which was leaking in off the roof. Ah yes, forgot to mention that it was raining, and had been most of the night, so the roads were going to be in a great state.

So off we went, packed to the rafters. Obviously the bus had no aircon at all and had never pretended to. When we realise this I think Mik muttered something along the lines of "Lying b*stards". The road was actually not too bad and I settled down a bit. THEN we got to the bit where the road ends and becomes a dirt track. Due to heavy rainfall this dirt track was even more eroded than ever and so we consequently spent the next 4 1/2 hours literally bouncing about in our seats. The journey was in fact a mere 155km but it took a full 6 hours (including a quick break for lunch (thank god) after which our bus had to be given a push start - brilliant! Now this was probably the first time I have experienced anything quite to bone shaking and I'm surprised we weren't all sobbing but we made it through. Just. I sat there looking forward to the bridges which were flat and brought sweet relief for a least 3 seconds each time (if you could forget that they were made of a couple of planks which didn't look like they'd hold us) and thinking that it could be a lot worse. The whiny American we'd had on a previous bus journey wasn't there for example, no one was throwing up, there were no screaming babies on board - so all in all I suppose we had it good. Until that is you saw other westerners sailing past in their big aircon buses. B*gger - we'd chosen the wrong tour operator!

So, eventually we arrived at the Cambodian border town, numb bruised legs and sore backsides but still in one piece. We walked across the border and through no-mans lands, past a casino - go figure - but we didn't stop. Then got into Thailand and waited for our bus. we jokingly pointed to a nearly pickup truck and suggested that was our next mode of transport - ha, ha. Well the laugh was on us as we did have to get on it - but luckily not for long. It took us to a beautiful double decker aircon coach where we had 2 seats each and frilly curtains to boot. Luxury.

So finally after 12 hours of travelling we were in Bangkok. Grabbed another English couple, secured a taxi and went to track down a hotel room, had some dinner and slept like the dead under our first duvet since we've been away. It was all worth it. now I wasn't keen on staying long in Bangkok as I've been before and it's generally very hot, noisey and dirty. We also had a hotel not far from the Kao San Road which has such a bad reputation as the backpacker area. However, due to the need to get Mik's leg x-rayed - remember the fall through the wooden walkway in Vietnam 3 weeks ago? Mik will fill you in on this but don't worry all OK, and the fact that we couldn't get a flight out for 2 days we stayed a while. And I really enjoyed it. Walking up and down the Kao San Road was great fun despite the noise and tackiness of it all. Great clothes for sale at "it would be rude not to purchase it" prices, and people watching to keep you going all day!

I don't know if the heavy rainfall in Thailand made it to international news but after it rained for 10 hours solid one night and they had over 17cm of rain the roads were flooded so getting to the hospital was quite an escapade. This short video will show you more but basically there were small fish on the pavements, which we can only presume had been washed up the drains from the river. Mik did his bit for the environment but putting this fish back into the water in the gutter, where it would, in all probability, later get run over by a bus!

www.ourtravels.co.uk/photo_gallery/likeafishoutofwater.avi
(right click on this link and click 'save target as'. Save to your local machine and play with Windows Media Player.
Caution : File size approx. 20Mb, don't try if you use a dial up connection)

Anyways, a couple of days there and we got on our cheap flight up to Chiang Mai in the north where we find ourselves now. By the way we flew Air Asia, Asias version of a low cost carrier and I have to say they were pretty good. More legroom than a Lufthansa flight anyway!

Oh and if any of should happen to have been tracking our route on a map of S.E. Asia you may now be thinking we are going an arse about tit way round. This is true as we will soon be heading into northern Laos. All I can say is the best laid plans......!

Off to laze around the pool now so catch you later.
C x

Siem Riep and the temples of Angkor

We really did enjoy Phnom Penh. It was such a laid back city and the area we stayed in was very relaxing. It's kind of strange being in Cambodia and everything is priced in US dollars. Everywhere from department stores to restaurants to pharmacies, the dollar rules. Any denomination under $1 uses Cambodian Riel instead of cents, so your change usually comes back as a mixture of dollars and riel, which gets a bit confusing after a few beers. Speaking of beer, which I usually am, I've recently discovered Cambodian stout. Being a Guiness drinker back home, I danced a little jig to discover Cambodians make their own versions, one called ABC and another called Black Panther. ABC is okay and very drinkable, especially after having to make do with lager since we came away, but my favourite by far is Black Panther. Now Guiness it most certainly is not, but considering that we are in the back of beyond in South East Asia I'm going to count my blessings anyway. It tastes great. Somewhere between liquorice and old engine oil, and so strong you almost have to chew it. At 8% alocohol, just a few cans will go a very long way and after dinner I'm usually to be found with a huge cheesy grin on my face, in the middle of the road, trying to teach the cockroaches to dance. Cara isn't overly impressed because I'm reduced to communicating through grunts, clicks and whistles. Fine if I'm chatting to a dolphin but not so great for holding a sensible conversation with my girlfriend.

After about 5 days we finally managed to get our lazy backsides out of Phnom Penh and up to Siem Riep, which is the jumping off point for visiting the Angkor temple complex. Having booked tickets on the bus, we obviously had to be up at about 6am. Nice one ! After about fumphty six hours on bumpy roads we arrived at Siem Riep bus station, which is a few kilometres outside of town. Nothing prepared us for what was to happen what we got off the bus. As soon as we stepped foot off the coach, before we even managed to get our bags off, we were surrounded by what seemed like 50 tuk tuk drivers. They completely mobbed us ! Beatlemania was tame by comparison. They all piled in at once and tugged, pushed, harried and cajoled us. They pushed signs in our faces with the names of obscure guesthouses written on them. They tried to pull our bags off us and run off to their tuk tuks. The only mental image I can offer you, that will in any way convey what happened, is to ask you to imagine 50 shouting men, each one trying to fight the other 49 using a piece of cardboard as a weapon, and into the middle of this Battle Royale plonk Cara and myself, looking like a couple of rabbits caught in the headlights of a truck. It was hilarious. At first we just laughed. Then we spoke assertively. Then we shouted. Then we shouted louder and eventually we just screamed at these guys to back off. No response whatsoever. We quickly realised the only way of getting out alive was to choose one of the drivers and get the hell out of there. We spotted one driver holding a sign for a guesthouse whose name we recognised, so we picked him up by the ears, threw him over my shoulder and legged it for the car park. Once out of the bus station it all quietened down and we both had a good laugh about the whole episode. It turns out that these guys fight each other tooth and nail to be able to take us rich westerners to our hotels for free, in the hope that we will hire them as private drivers to take us around the Angkor temple complex. A driver on retainer is guaranteed a few days work and won't have to tout again for a while, so we pasty westerners are quite a prize. It's nice to feel so wanted ! Our driver for the next few days was called 'Rosa', or rather he was called the noise you would make if you tried to say the word Rosa after first having your tongue and most of your teeth removed. Actually even that is not accurate. Our real driver was Rosa's brother, but he spoke almost no English so Rosa negotiated on his behalf. Obviously, we only found this out after we had finished our negotition and we thought it was all in the bag for the next day. Even after you had removed your tongue and all of your teeth you would still not be able to pronounce the name of Rosa's brother, but he was a nice lad and was very eager to please so all was well in the end.

The next morning was something I have never experienced before in all my 34 years. We had to be up at 4 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING !!!!!!!!!!! Let me repeat that to remove any chance of misunderstanding. FOUR O'SODDING CLOCK IN THE BLOODY MORNING. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen four AM many, many times in my life. But so far it had always been at the end of the day. It was one of my favourite hours as a youth. It was the time of day that indicated you'd just had a great night out, but would soon be in a comfy bed. I had never seen it at the beginning of the day before, and let me tell you, it looks very different when looked at from that angle. It gives you a heavy-lidded, confusing, feels-like-you've-been-tethered-to-an-oxcart kind of sensation which was very strange.

Howdyhoo, the reason for getting up at that laughable time of the morning was to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat, the largest and most impressive of the temples in the complex. The Angkor temple complex is essentially a large group of temples, reservoirs, mausoleums, monastaries and other assorted religious buildings built by the Khmer (Cambodian) empire, which ruled an area covering Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam and Thailand between the 9th and 14th centuries. The empire fell toward the end of the 14th century and a great majority of the buildings were left derelict, waiting for the jungle to cover the area. Although the locals were continually occupying the area for the whole time, Angkor was "rediscovered" by the French in the 1860's and has subsequently become known as one of the main wonders of the world.

We made it to Angkor Wat whilst still dark and altough fairly impressive, much of the sunrise was lost behind a thick curtain of cloud. The Angkor temples were one of the main highlights of the trip that Cara and I were looking forward to and it was definately worth the wait. With the possible exception of being surrounded by 50 sharks whilst diving in Tiputi Pass, Rangiroa in French Polynesia, Angkor Wat is probably the most impressive thing I have ever seen in my life (sorry for the shameless name dropping). It truly is staggering the first time you see it. We spent hours on that first morning looking around Angkor Wat alone. It wasn't the best weather but still very hot and climbing up, around and over the temple was excellent fun. The steps up the five main towers are extremely steep and very high (a feature of all the temples at Angkor) so Cara wasn't a huge fan of going up and down them and I have to say even I got the heebie-jeebies a few times. the rest of the day was spent making our way around some of the other main temples and buildings. It was a cracking day and by the time we arrived back at the hotel we in the late afternoon we were shattered, sweaty and stinky (that was our appearance, not our roles in the local adaptation of Snow White!).

In all we spent 3 days wandering around the area, and all the time transported in comfort by our own personal driver Tgmntxcvrtertpqwkmnt (that's my best approximation of his name. When you pronounce it, it has less vowels!). For both the second and third days we had fantastic sunshine, which makes he photos look great, but made the climbing and trekking very hot. You'll all be pleased to know I was back on top form in the sweating department and was at one instance approached by a former Olympic perspiration coach asking me if I had ever considered turning pro. I kindly turned down the offer as it would have required me to spend weeks at a time living inside a sumo wrestlers thong and I just don't have that kind of spare time !

We stayed in Siem Riep for 4 nights and the last day was just spent taking it easy, mooching around the markets and eating more food. We also both visited the Seeing Hands Massage centre, which trains local blind folk in various massage techniques so they can earn a decent living, rather than begging on the streets. (Anybody who thinks the welfare system in the UK is lousy should try living with some kind of disability on the streets of Asia. Not easy !). So we both booked ourselves in for an hour's massage, which was more than welcome because all this eating, drinking and taking it easy was doing nothing for my bad back. Cara had a great time and came out afterwards feeling fantastic. Unfortunately my hands started itching almost as soon as I lay down on the slab and caused a distraction for the whole time. When we had finished I had about a dozen bites on my hands which I assume came from some sort of bedbug, flea or other related invertibrate parasite. The masseuse was a great guy though, and gave it his all. When he first discovered me on the slab with his 'seeing hands' I think he suspected I was two people trying to sneek one past him and get it half price, so he quickly counted all the limbs on the bed to make sure. Bless him, by the end of the hour he looked like he needed a massage himself and he had to go and lie down. Before we went outside to pay the staggering sum of $3 each, we slipped each of them an extra dollar. I'm sorry to say we didn't realise they hadn't the faintest idea what we had just given them, and they both scarpered to ask a trusted colleague whether it was money or a thank you note !

The next part of our journey was a real humdinger and I'll let Cara fill you in on that one. Sorry for rambling on a bit with this entry, but we've been on the road a while since our last postings and we need to spill it out of our heads before we forget where we've been.

Hope all is well where you are,
Mik the Black Panther Threlfall

Extra from Cara :
We may not have mentioned the legend of the grey/green ape creature since the highlands of Vietnam but there have been numerous reoprts of sightings in Angkor Wat, Cambodia. In fact one monk actually managed to get his photo taken with the tall creature, and it towered over him. This was how it happened. There was a group of monks sitting quietly by the walkway to Angkor Wat when they spotted said creature and called it over. They wanted a photo with it but Mik was a little confused and thought they were giving him permission to take a picture of them. Anyway,I then bounded over wanting to get the same shot, speaking to the monk in the process which is rumoured to be the wrong thing to do for ladies - oops!
There have been many other occassions when Mik has recieved strange and rather longing looks and many men have commented on what a good looking man he is. Now obviously I agree with this but have just worked out why they are so infatuated. It was while a group of local men sat on the back of a pick up were staring at us in our coach and pointing at Mik that I realised they had no facial hair whatsoever. You may be wondering why this made the penny drop. Well, we haven't been able to put many pictures up recently so you won't be aware that Mik hasn't shaved since we have been away and is now sporting a substantial amount of hair on his chin. So you see all these men here who can't grow a beard are very envious of Mik's. I don't really get it myself! ;-))

Extra extra from Mik :
That's obviously bollocks ! They just recognise a fine figure of a man when they see one.

A couple of other irrelevant observations

Righto, a few more points to add my earlier list :

1. Traveller's misconceptions
Why do some white people think they look good with dreadlocks ? Especially very, very white people with very ginger hair. Surely, there are some things we can just assume are wrong, without feeling the need to go into explanations.

2. Americans
Despite what some of you may think from my earlier comments, most Americans are actually very nice people. It is just unfortunate that many of them have voices that make you want to remove your ear canals with an apple corer and encase your head in concrete. As I say, most Americans are nice people. Mostly.

3. Olympics
Why is it that nobody in the UK could give a sparrows fart about the Olympic Games, but as soon as it becomes a two-way battle betwewen London and Paris it's vitally important that London gets the games ?

Cheung Ek & S21

Regarding what Cara has written previously about our trips to Cheung Ek (Killing Fields) and S21 (Tuol Sleng prison), I thought I'd add a few more words. As a youngster I became fascinated by the story of Cambodia and the Khmer Rouge. It was such a bizarre historical example for me as a teenager, and seemed to happen in this wierd place far away that I knew nothing about. I read every book I could find on the subject* and it was somewhere I have always wanted to visit. So when we finally managed to get there it was quite an experience for me. Walking around the mass execution site at Cheung Ek it is very difficult to rationalise how calm the place seemed whilst at the same time, looking at signs next to excavated pits with messages like "Mass grave of 248 women and children found without heads". S21 was very similar in this respect. Prior to Khmer Rouge rule it was a school, and from 1975 to 1979 it was transformed into a detention centre used for the sole purpose of torturing alleged enemies for the revolution. Everybody detained there was subsequently taken to Cheung Ek for execution, excluding the 7 people Cara mentioned and those who died under torture. Being efficient beaurocrats, the Khmer Rouge kept records and photographs of almost everybody who passed through the prison, and photos of many of these people are now displayed on boards in the prison musuem. For many relatives of these prisoners, they only discovered the fate of there family members after visiting the museum and finding their photo on these boards.

One of the most difficult aspects for me to reconcile about this part of Cambodia's history is that the great majority of Cambodian people now live side by side with each other, having previously been on opposite sides of this conflict. I think that I for one would be somewhat more bitter and vengeful than they appear to be. There are still calls for the remaining Khmer Rouge leaders to be brought to trial, but the ordinary soldiers, the people who did the killing and torturing, still live next door to and work beside the families of those who died.

My apologies for being so serious on what has so far been a fairly lighthearted diary, but we reserve the right every now and then to get a little self-indulgent. Thank you for your patience.

*Should you at any time be interested in reading any more on this part of Cambodia's history. I can strongly recommend a book called "Surviving the Killing Fields : A Cambodian Odyssey" by Haing S. Ngor. The author was a Cambodian doctor who was detained and tortured by the Khmer Rouge. He managed to escape to Thailand and eventually made it to America. Whilst there, he landed the role of Dith Pran in the movie "The Killing Fields" and won an oscar for best supporting actor. He went on to become a reasonably successful actor and high profile leader of the Cambodian community in the USA. He was murdered outside his home in LA in 1996 by muggers after refusing to give them a locket containing a picture of his dead wife.

Lovin' it

We're in Phnom Penh and we are loving it. It may have something to do with the fact that we are now both recovered from our colds, or it may be that this capital city has a really good vibe to it.

So, having found ourselves in the backpacker area of Phnom Penh we consulted our Lonely Planet and together with the couple we'd traveled up the Mekong with we went to suss out the recommended hotels. Now this popular area is located on the edge of a lake, many places have decks out on to the lake which are great for lazing around and taking in a sunset or two. So we tried these first. Andy and Klaire went first and were offered a double room for $3 (now that's what you call cheap) Now they have been traveling a lot longer than us and the room looked OK to them and they took it. We then asked and they said they didn't have a double room but could offer us a twin and move us to a double tomorrow - 'no problem' we said so I trundled off to check out the room while Mik watched the bags.

Now the room itself was fine, nice location on the lake but I took one look at the bathroom (this word is used in the loosest sense) and knew I couldn't stay here. Now it's not that I'm a snob (well maybe a little) but a toilet with no seat, which is on a wonky floor, and a shower attachment hanging off the wall do not a bathroom make! So I said a polite no thanks and then asked if he had any MORE EXPENSIVE rooms - bizarre concept I know - but anyways he didn't have any so we decided to look elsewhere. I also pointed out to Mik as I told him it was no good, that nowhere in our budget do we only have to pay $3 for a hotel room. He agreed!

A couple of doors down was a place that looked good, I popped in for a look at a room and was shown a palatial room, large bed, wardrobes, nice bathroom, satellite TV and chandelier to boot. Now this was more our style, it was in fact one of the best rooms we'd seen. I asked the price and although it was more than double the last one offered it was still only $7, which makes it one of the cheapest rooms we've stayed in so far - result. I collected Mik and the bags and Andy and Klaire vowed to move there tomorrow.

I'd like to point out that I do realise that there will be times when these $3 rooms will be our only option, either due to lack of alternative, or because we are at the end of our budget and still have 6 months to go. Then it will be different and I'll be able to cope with such basic accommodation. (I hope)

We went out to get some food and being in the heart of backpacker area they cater for all needs. We really did mean to go out and sample local food but somehow the boys were up for a burger and we ended up in the 'Lazy Gecko' which claimed to make food like your Mum does. I decided to put this claim to the test and ordered some mashed potato, now it wasn't bad but nothing compared to yours Mum. The slice of very good banoffee pie did make up for it though. A few beers whilst watching the disappointing mens tennis final and that was our first evening in Cambodia. Very authentic - NOT!

The following day we felt we really should immerse ourselves more in the local culture and so headed off to the National Museum which was interesting, and the building it was housed in amazing. Really beautiful pagoda style building with gorgeous courtyard so we spent some time chilling there. Then we visited the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda - again very beautiful buildings with a distinctly Thai look to them. With a gold statue covered in diamonds - more bling than Chigwell!

Then we headed to the Foreign Correspondents Club for some happy hour drinks and a couple of games of pool on the river side. Now this place is gorgeous but can only be afforded during happy hour so we were there for exactly that period of time! I guess they must be used to that! Mik thrashed me at pool by the way.

On Tuesday we had a more somber day. We went to see the Killing Fields where over 17,000 bodies of those murdered by the Khmer Rouge have been found. They have a monument there for these people which houses the skulls which have been recovered. It's horrific to see. As you walk around the site where hundreds of mass graves have been uncovered you still see pieces of bone and clothing sticking out of the ground. This is bad enough in itself but when you then think about the fact that this only happened 30 years ago and was carried out by Cambodians, to Cambodians, it is incomprehensible. So many children were recruited by the Khmer Rouge and totally brainwashed into believing that killing by such brutal means was the way of life. Heartbreaking.

We then moved on to the S21 prison museum where the Khmer Rouge kept, tortured and killed over 20,000 people. Only 7 men escaped from this prison at the end of the Khmer Rouge regime and lived. They have since told of the atrocities which went on there. If the people weren't taken to the killing fields they died in their cells either due to starvation or the torture they all had to endure. A mind numbing experience. I guess in some cases you say why do the west get involved, Vietnam, Iraq, but in this case you actually have to say why didn't they. Why were the Khmer Rouge allowed to kill over 2 million of their own countrymen over a period of 4 years. Why were the leaders not found and tried, how could Pol Pot have lived in relative freedom in the highlands of Cambodia and Thailand until 1998 - nearly 20 years after the Vietnamese invaded and ended the Khmer Rouge regime. Madness, and very very sad. Especially when the guide explaining these things was herself affected and lost a great number of family members - some of whom she has, to this day, still no idea of their fate.

So whilst we are enjoying Cambodia so far it is also hard to imagine what the country has been through, and you just hope they can pull themselves back and put Cambodia on the map again. The place and the people have so much to offer. We were tempted to head to the beach as they are said to be beautiful however time is a ticking and we've decided to save the beach for Thailand and Malaysia. That's after we've just added some time in Laos into our schedule. Everyone is raving about the place and so we are headed there through northern Thailand, after Angkor Wat. We got our visa today. All these visas aren't cheap you know, some cost us our daily allowance. On those days we don't take tuc-tuc's, drink or eat - like hell we don't!

More once we have seen the wonderous temples of Angkor.
I'm off for a pedicure now.

Cara x

Journey into the Heart of Darkness

Or a slow cruise up the Mekong Delta to give it a more accurate description. (Forgive my weak literary allusions)
After 4 days of farting around Saigon and doing not much of anything except getting this website up to date and sorting some photos, we finally moved on. We had booked a 3 day trip taking us up the Mekong Delta, across the Cambodian border and on into Phnom Penh, and bright and breezy we made our way to the tour office at the crack of dawn (this early morning thing really has to stop). During the initial coach journey to the Mekong river, we were lucky enough to be sitting in front of an American fellow whose high-pitched, nasally whining voice made my cranium resonate and my eardrums bleed. Now don't get me wrong, I love Americans as much as the next Arab, but this guy just didn't stop talking the whole way. And not only did our mellifluous pal not shut up, the topics up for discussion were how to finance a corporate takeover through the international banking system to the tune of 1.6 billion US dollars and how house cats can never be tamed and if you ever gave them reason to think they could get one over on you, they would probably try and kill you. Fascinating stuff I'm sure you'll agree. At this point my music player was plugged into my ears and the volume notched up to maximum. Unfortunately, our chum was getting so worked up his voice was rising in pitch to point where it penetrated directly to the cerebral cortex and bypassed the ears completely. My teeth started vibrating at high-frequency and some of my fillings fell out. I couldn't even hear the music anymore. You'll be glad to know it all worked out well in the end though, as just before I lost control completely and pushed an armrest through his temple, he went ultrasonic and only bats and small dogs could hear him. Sweet relief.

Now I don't want you to think for a second that I can only dwell on the negative aspects of this trip, but let's face it, situations like this are far more interesting to read than me harping on about how many pretty temples we've seen and how beautiful the countryside is. Be honest, when we write about scenic countryside and pretty mountains you just glaze over and skip to the juicy bits. You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

During the course of the next 3 days we visited a mini noodle factory, a riceflour mill, a sweet making enterprise, a house where people made rice crispies (I'm not eating them again), a fish farm, several floating markets and several slow, lazy cruises around tributaries and floating villages. It really was a cracking time and I very much enjoyed meeting some of the people who live and work on the river. Some of them have never stepped foot on dry land, how wacky is that ? One of the high points was on the first night of the trip, everybody else piled off to bed at about 9.30 so Cara and I settled ourselves into some small plastic chairs outside a locals bar near our hotel. After many beers and many games of cards our bill came to 68p. Superb.
We all had a great time, except everywhere we went bats fell out of the sky and small dogs tried to pull the armrests of our seats. Very strange.

On the morning of the third day we set off from the border town of Chau Doc (smugglers paradise apparently) for a slow cruise to the Viet/Cambodian border. Once there we sat around for a while as the border beaurocrats went about their business of doing things as slowly as possible ( seems to be the same the world over). Once done we left our boat, carted our luggage across the border and through passport control and we were in Cambodia. Onto another boat and then by boat and bus made our way to Phnom Penh.

p.s. It is worth pointing out here that up until this point, we have never needed to carry our luggage more than 100 yards at any one time. During the last few days we've had to carry it all over the place and I've just realised it's bloody heavy. I think I'll have to rummage around my backpack and see what we can safely jetison. After all, who needs more than 2 pairs of underpants ? It's not like I ever wash any of them anyway !

p.p.s. For those of you who are interested, the Mekong Delta and so far, Phnom Penh, are somewhat cooler than most of the places we have so far experienced. The upshot being that my hobby of power-sweating has taken something of a knock. Obviously, I'll continue to wear a thin sheen of perspiration at all hours of the day and night, as it clears out the pores and accentuates my cheekbones (!). It's a real shame as I'd just been offered a job as a waterslide at a local theme park and the hours were good.

p.p.p.s A fullsize bottle of Stolychnaya vodka in a Phnom Penh supermarket will set you back $4. What more reason could one need to visit Cambodia ?

Bye for now, or as they say in Cambodia "that'll be $4"